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| Julia, Ashley, Melissa & Jack - April 2006 |
I’m a planner. I like things orderly. Early on I decided I wanted to play it safe and stick with maybe just two kids. I have two hands and two eyes, so two made logical sense. To my surprise, during a routine sonogram eighteen weeks into my second pregnancy, I learned that I would soon go from one to three kids (yes, twins!) and join that elite group of moms who are totally stressed, frazzled and out-numbered. There is absolutely no way to imagine or plan for the inevitable craziness that ensues when you have more than one child, particularly when they come buy-one-get-one-free as mine did. After almost eleven years (including pregnancy) of being “in the trenches” so to speak, I’ve observed a well-known universal truth. Very little is more humbling than being a mom.
There are many moments to remind you that you are no different than all those moms with screaming kids you once judged before joining the ranks. Yes, motherhood is the great equalizer among us. There are embarrassing moments like the time I think I caught the eye of a very attractive, athletically built man in the grocery store. Just as I was thinking I’ve still got it, my three year old daughter announced at the top of her lungs as she squatted down beside the cart, “Mommy, I have to poop!”
There are also funny moments like when your child says something completely hysterical or naughty and for just a moment you allow yourself to stop being commander-in-chief long enough to belly laugh at what they said. After which you, of course, call your sister or your girlfriends and repeat what the little angel uttered, so they can have a moment of fun along side you and take solace in knowing that other kids say (perhaps repeat) bad things too, and almost always in front of the wrong people or at an inopportune moment.
There are also trying moments too numerous to mention. Tantrums, fighting, biting, hitting, teasing, defiance, attitude, unforeseen vomit, just to name a few. These are the times when you think this is not what I signed on for and SO does not resemble the 100+ squeaky-clean, picture perfect Christmas cards I sent out last year.
Scary moments are the most humbling of all. Like riding in an ambulance or sitting in an emergency room waiting area with your sick or injured child and knowing their safety and care is completely out of your hands.
Of course, there are proud moment as well. Like watching your child receive an award for Citizen of the Month or hearing they used good manners and were on their best behavior even when you weren’t looking. These are the little “paychecks” you earn along the way that keep you going and remind you that you haven’t blown it completely, just yet.
This whole experience has given me a great idea for a spin-off of the reality television show Survivor. It could be called Survivor: Su Casa. Like the well-known show, there would be grueling challenges and ruthless teammates. The rewards: food and bathrooms. If you “survive” after 18 years of laundry, meal prep, illnesses, homework and shuttling, you win a quiet house and large tuition bills. A torch could even be extinguished as each child goes off to college while the remaining family members utter the words “your tribe has spoken.” Humbling indeed.
To all moms everywhere...veteran, recently retired, active duty or new recruit…
Happy Mother's Day!
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